words of wisdom??? not

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Can you figure these riddles out???

RIDDLE


With pointed fangs it sits in wait,

With piercing force its doles out fate,

Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might,

Eternally joining in a single bite.

What am I?


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NEXT RIDDLE


Students at Monty High with a class size under of 30 took a math test. One third of the class got a "B", one quarter a "B-", one sixth a "C", and one eighth failed. The remainder of the students got an "A" How many students got an "A"?



The Answer to the Riddles, have yet to be posted....

Dumb Blonde Jokes

• Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
•  
• Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
•  
• Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
•  
• When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
•  
• Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
•  
• After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

 

HOT LINE

Hello,  Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline


If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you are anal retentive, please hold.


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Chicken, Red Potato, and Green Bean Salad Recipe | Recipe4Living

Chicken, Red Potato, and Green Bean Salad Recipe | Recipe4Living

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Really stupid...

Arrested on a robbery charge, our law firm's client denied the allegations. So when the victim pointed him out in a lineup as one of four men who had attacked him, our client reacted vociferously.




"He's lying!" he yelled. "There were only three of us."
 
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